Thoughts that Illuminate


What is Motherhood?  Turning the definition right-side up

Before I became a mom, I must confess that I bought hook-line-and sinker, societies definition of
motherhood… We give birth, tend to the child’s physical, emotional and spiritual needs, teach them
about the world, and in return the child responds with smiles, laughter, love and obedience.  The
goal of motherhood is realized when they become a loving, responsible, contributing member of
society. It seemed so simple and straightforward.  That is until I became a mom.  As many young
mothers I often struggled with the “right answer”, felt completely “out of my league” and had gone to
bed many nights feeling like a complete failure. How many of us feel as if we have been put in the
driver’s seat of our kid’s lives without so much as a map, a GPS system or an On-Star with a nice
calm voice that will tell us exactly what to do in all emergency situations?  (At one point I have a
recollection of actually saying to God “What were you thinking? I have no idea what I’m doing!”)  
What I didn’t realize at the time is that what I suffered from was my belief in how I saw myself as a
mother and what constituted “success” or “failure” as defined by society (and by me). If we are on a
spiritual path (a walk toward remembering God and our Self) we must seek out a more loving
definition of motherhood that will free us from feelings of guilt, failure and lack. For it is these very
beliefs that block us from remembering who we really are.  

Turning the definition right-side up:
The course states that our only purpose is to be healed and to heal. This is for both mother and
child.  If we give our relationship for this purpose than a parent/child relationship becomes very holy
ground.  

Children as teachers:
The traditional understanding of the role of mother is one who teaches and guides children through
the maze of complexity in the world.  Although this one aspect of our role; to give to someone who
temporarily has less, we must not lose sight of their role in our lives as our teachers.

Our children give to us the foundation necessary for all learning; a commitment and willingness to
be taught.  Have you noticed that as moms we are determined to leave no stone unturned if in
some way it would be for the benefit of our kids?  We will “leap tall buildings in a single bound” if it
means finding an answer. As we walk a spiritual path, we are being asked to turn this passion and
determination inward.  The Holy Spirit wants to gently lead us to look at and release our false
beliefs and our fears held within the mind.  It is because of our deep love for our kids and knowing
that healing is shared, that we are willing to stretch ourselves past our comfort zone, to go through
barriers of fear, and explore all that we would otherwise keep hidden from healing.

Another precious gift our children bring to us is the gift of reflection.  Like a mirror, they reflect back
to us the places where we are attached to control, fear, lack of trust, and a belief in our own guilt.   
“A Course In Miracles” states that the Holy Spirit cannot heal that which you won’t release to Him.   If
things stay in our unconscious, then we are in essence limiting our healing.  If we are willing to bring
them to our conscious mind (our awareness), the Holy Spirit can then shine the light of Truth on
them and they will disappear. Where else but in relationship to our children, do we have such an
array of opportunities that show us what we truly believe?   

Although our children can be a source to reflect all of our false beliefs they can also be a reflection
of our holiness.  We have taught ourselves that we are the personality, our surface traits, our
experiences our bodies, our roles etc.  Here is the overall lesson we must learn; we are not who we
think we are.  Who are we Really? We are “Spirit, a holy Son of God, free of all limits, safe and
healed and whole” (W.#97).  Our children stand before us as a body.  Is this who they are?  Can we
look past all that the ego would identify as who they are and see a spirit whole and free?  Imagine if
we did, what a gift of reflection that would be for us.  As the greeting of Namaste implies; there is a
place in all of us “where spirit lives where only love abides, where peace is constant, where we are
all equal, where we are one.  The Holy Spirit can give us this vision of our children and ourselves if
we invite Him to do so.  Although this can be the most challenging to do with our children because
we identify with our love for who they are in a body; it can also be the most freeing.  If we can see
our children as equal Beings of love and holiness we will have very little trouble seeing ourselves
this way.  

Mothers as teachers:
Now that we have seen what our children give to us for our healing, what do we give to them?  
Once we commit the relationship with our children to our healing the rest is very simple.  We are to
love them on their journey trusting that they are being lead to what is best for their healing. We are
to teach by example not to judge situations as good or bad but to view every situation and
relationship as an opportunity to release the blocks that keep us from knowing Who we really are.
We are to help them learn how to listen and trust the Voice within. We are to be a witness to their
wholeness and the Christ within them so they can begin to see it in themselves.

Our relationship is blessed with this new understanding. As we dedicate our relationship to our only
purpose; to be healed and to heal, our relationship becomes the holy ground on which we walk to
God.

To all of the moms who read this, I wish for you a happy day of remembering that the role you play
as ‘mom’ can be seen in a new light. One that is free of guilt, feelings of failure or fear.  Let the Holy
Spirit lead you to healing through your relationship with your children. The greatest gift you can
give your children is to accept the truth of Who you are.  In your demonstration they will begin to
learn about who they are and in this realization all pain and suffering is gone and only peace
remains.   

Written by: Patti Fields